2008-05-13

 

Positive Parenting

I am a cynical sarcastic person. I have to work really hard to come at things from a positive slant. This morning Lily confirmed that Jacey and I need to work on being positive with Lily.

At 7:00, Lily woke me up to say that her stomach hurt. Then she woke me up at 7:15 with the same complaint. Once I woke up at 7:30 I told her to take her temperature, which she had just finished doing. She said it was 99.2. I took the thermometer, turned it on and saw that the last temperature was 98.0. I had her take it again. 98.0.

Now I knew something was wrong. I finally got her to admit, through giant tears, that she lied about her temperature.

Upon further probing I found out why she was trying to skip school. Her class is being tested on multiplying by 12 today. She has been struggling with 12s. To top it off, her teacher fixed a problem with her previous tests. The top row of the test had the problems in numerical order. Some of the kids, Lily included, figured out that they could count these out then just reference the top row for the rest of the test. Now they are jumbled on all rows.

The part that I am concerned with is that Lily didn't just come to us with her problem. She was disappointed, she knew that we would be disappointed, but didn't come to us. She just tried to hide it under the rug.


Comments:
understood...although sweeping it under the rug to avoid the problem is the understood that all kids will do...what all parents need, but seldom have, is a kid that is avoiding the disapointment of their parents and not simply avoiding due to the punishment. You can build off of the disappointment factor you can't off of the punishment. You must be doing something right if you have that going for you.
 
I'm not advocating abandoning punishment, that is needed. I think we have been relying on punishment too much and leaving respect behind.
 
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